I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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