Me. At least after what I've been through.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
