he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
