He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
