Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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