I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
