just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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