You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
