the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm always down for nudity.
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