i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
