Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
