STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
