how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
