We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
