Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
