There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
