I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
