Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
