Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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