she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
