it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
