found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
