Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
she peed on how many people?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
