he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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