I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
