so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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