these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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