I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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