My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
