Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
