a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
