The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
