omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
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