I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
