HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
