when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
