I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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