You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
