i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
