Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
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