i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
