I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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