You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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