You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
