Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
