before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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