Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
