We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
