i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
