Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
