I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
